Great being in the fourth round of the League Cup isn’t it? Getting dead excited because we may even get a chance to be murdered by one of the giants of English football (yeh, because that’s where we’re at nowadays) and that real kick in the groin of being drawn against Queens Park Rangers.

So a trip down to the capital – in a month of six away games – it is and for this weary column writer, it just feels like a complete pain in the arse. However, we may actually beat a QPR team that has been less hilarious than the glory days of Harry Redknapp buying every one of the world’s journeymen to get them brutally relegated.

So, yeh, there’s that. And maybe then we can lose 14-0 to Liverpool.

How Do I Get There?

Don’t drive to this game, it’d be really dumb and driving through London is just utterly horrendous. Especially when you hit the North Circular in rush hour. Sigh. Anyway, if you are going to take this baffling decision then it’s A1(M) and then M1 all the way down to London. Here you’ll need to snake your way along the A406, through Wormwood Scrubs then follow the signs for Shepherd’s Bush. There’s pretty much no parking near the ground so have fun!

Sat nav losers need to punch in W12 7PA.

For you elite shaggers on the train, you’ll need to get on the Central Line to White City and then the ground is just a short walk away. Alternatively, and if you’re thirsty, get off at Shepherds Bush and find a pub that won’t let you in.

What’s the Ground Like?

Loftus Road is one of those grounds where everyone thinks it’s great because it’s got a few supporting poles obstructing but in reality it’s crap. It’s really cramped and if you’re in the upper tier it feels as if you’re falling on to the pitch, but yeh, against modern football or something. Shut up.

Yer thirsty?

The vast majority of pubs in the vicinity of Loftus Road, and Shepherd’s Bush, have that really cool policy of not letting anyone with a northern accent in. The designated ‘away pub’ is the, quite frankly, awful Belushi’s Bar on Shepherd’s Bush Green, so if you want to go in there, be our guest.

The only good pub that will let you in is the Sindercombe Social next door to the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire. The BrewDog Shepherd’s Bush across the road and will also most likely let you in.

What’s This Place Like?

If you like remonstrating with pub bouncers as to why you should be allowed to buy a delicious pint of flat Carlsberg, then this is the place for you!

Tom Walsh