Cans & Megabus – Your indispensable guide to Bristol City (A)

Our intrepid reporter Tom Walsh is back with some essential information ahead of Sunderland's trip to Ashton Gate!

After years of traversing the many villages and industrial estates League One has to offer, what a pleasure it is to go to actual cities in the beautiful Championship. This year we get to visit Bristol and not have to go to the car boot sale stadium that Bristol Rovers hilariously call home. We’re going to a properly built stadium that costs 33 English pounds to enter – oh how we’ve waited for this.

We, of course, have fond memories of our last visit to Bristol City where one of the worst Sunderland sides of all time came from three goals down to draw with Loser Lee Johnson’s Loser Robins. A game that will also live long in the memory for some of the worst editing you will ever see from a TV show ever.

Yes, your handsome columnist is talking about the scene in Sunderland ‘Till I Die where someone pushes the camera as we go 3-0 down and then it cuts to a shot of a different broken camera on the ground. It’s up there with playing a game on the 30th February and that scene where a taxi driver had to go to a Brexit rally – what a truly awful programme that was.

It’s great to be back.

How Do I Get There?

For you losers spending all day in your car then take the A1(M), M1 and then M5 to Bristol. At junction 18A you’ll need to take Portway and then just follow the signs to Ashton Gate. There’s a bit of street parking around the ground but if not, just park in the city centre.

Plop this into your sat nav – BS3 2EJ.

With no train strike this weekend (solidarity, up the workers), you can get the train down to Bristol Temple Meads. From there, you can get a local service to Parson Street. Alternatively, it’s not actually that long of a walk from the city centre. There’s a loser bus as well for £2.

What’s the Ground Like?

It looks exactly like it did the last time we went to Ashton Gate, it’s three modern stands and then one not modern stand – and that’s where we’ll be situated. There’s over 3,000 of us going down to Bristol, so enjoy yourself.

Yer thirsty?

Bristol is a veritable mecca when it comes to the art of sinking pints and you are simply spoilt for choice. Cans & Megabus’ usual haunts are around the King Street area where you can choose from the excellent establishments such as Small Bar, King Street Brew House, The Apple or The Old Duke.

However, if you’re looking for a couple of watering holes en route to Ashton Gate then you can start at The Ostrich Inn on Lower Guinea Street before moving on to the Orchard Inn on Hanover Place and then finishing up in Nova Scotia at Nova Scotia Place. There’s also the Bristol Beer Factory on North Street which is just a short walk from the stadium.

What’s on in Bristol?

Some band called The Bolsheviks are playing at The Black Horse on Saturday night or you could go to something called Horse Meat Disco at Motion. Whatever your vibe is to be honest.