Well this is what we’ve all been waiting for, isn’t it? After three tortuous years losing to Gillingham and being thoroughly bodied at outposts such as Shrewsbury and Portsmouth, we can finally enjoy the glamour of being pumped 6-0 by Arsenal’s reserves.
As you take your incredibly comfy padded seat in the glitzy Emirates Stadium, you can fondly remember when we went to Arsenal as a Premier League side. You can fondly remember those times when we frustrated these fancy dans to grind out a goalless draw and secure life in the top tier of English football for another year.
Those days are, of course, consigned to the bin of history and we’ll enjoy a good old hair ruffle from every Gooner that you converse with. So prepare yourself to hear classic lines such as “it’s a disgrace what’s happened at your place”, “I loved the documentary”, “is Will Grigg still there?”, “despite being in League One, your fans are still class” and, of course, the classic “play like that for the rest of the season and you’ll definitely get promoted”.
Enjoy every second of this because it’s the closest we’ll ever get to being on a par with a Premier League club for a very long time… unless we somehow conspire to win. Now THAT would be hilarious.
Oh yeah, Arsenal Fan TV are massive losers too.
How Do I Get There?
No-one in their right mind would want to drive to London. It’s one of the most idiotic things to do on God’s green Earth. While you think it’ll take four hours, it actually takes closer to eight hours because driving through London, near Christmas, is pure hell. I implore anyone considering this to think again, for the love of God.
In fact, I’m not even going to give you directions because it’s a really stupid idea and you’ll instantly regret it the moment you get stuck in rush hour traffic on Holloway Road.
If you’ve done the correct thing and took the train to King’s Cross, then hop on the Piccadilly tube line to Holloway Road or Arsenal and you’re there.
What’s the Ground Like?
Mate, it’s massive and it’s got padded seats, it doesn’t get more Modern Football than that. The Emirates is genuinely class and one of the better new stadiums built in the past 15 years. Sunderland fans will all be behind the goal and with over 5,000 of us there, we can all collectively bask in us losing incredibly heavily.
Hey, who cares how many we lose by when North London is home to an abundance of sensational pubs. Cans & Megabus could rattle off a few decent boozers around the Holloway and Finsbury Park area but there should only be one pub on your agenda when you visit the Emirates and that’s The Faltering Fullback on Perth Road.
Covered in alluring ivy, this gem of a boozer is a sea of excellent beer and delicious Thai food. Inside you’ll find all the hallmarks of your favourite backstreet alehouse while if you take a little wander and you’ll find a quaint Asian-inspired garden. It is truly a king among London boozers.
Naturally, if you want something a little different The Twelve Pins on Seven Sisters Road is a favourite haunt for Gooners and away fans alike. For you legends on the train, you’ll find an abundance of great boozers near Kings Cross including the Sunderland staple of Millers, Euston Tap and The Rocket.
However, if you want to feel like you’re part of the Cans & Megabus crew then we simply have to recommend The Marquis Cornwallis on Marchmont Street. Enjoy the olives, enjoy the chilli puffs, enjoy the delicious lager but, just please, do not talk to us.
What’s This Place Like?
If you like having the time of your life pouring every penny you have into the London economy, then come on down to Arsenal!