Cans & Megabus – Your Essential Guide To Peterborough United (A)

Tom Walsh is back with another helpful guide to the latest outpost on our meandering journey through League One

Wellity, wellity, wellity if it isn’t old Peterborough. If it isn’t that football team that is so committed to the financial stability and career of Darren Ferguson and have a chairman that goes on podcasts saying stuff. We’ve had one of those, pal, they don’t work and end up saying stupid stuff like details of senior players’ contracts.

Oh I see you’re doing your little promotion thing that you do every year, beating someone like Northampton 10-0 but now you haven’t won in two months. No, I’m absolutely not double checking whether those statements are true. Besides, Craig Mackail-Smith is probably still your top goalscorer, whoever he is.

Remember when they were desperate to sell us Marcus Maddison because our supporters kept going on about him on Twitter? Said to pay them £2.5 million for him, and then Jack Ross thought he’d be too much a handful and their owner was fuming about it? Great times that, proper throwback to a time of Handsome Jack’s V-neck jumpers and liking everything a man with a ‘Why So Serious?’ tattoo put on Instagram.

Sometimes I wish we could go back to that time and have pints once again on that boat outside London Road that’s also an Indian restaurant. Anyway, the last time we played Peterborough a friend of mine threw a croissant at a Newcastle fan in a pub, so that’s something to think about.

How To Recreate the London Road experience?

Do you have access to some wooden chairs? Yes? Great! No? Shut up. Anyway, lay them out in your front room and then uncomfortably sit on them while you try and see your TV/laptop/phone from behind a pole.

Hey, does anyone remember Peterborough’s mascot being a section of road with a hat on? Well guess what you’re going to dress up as while you’re watching this game, you better believe buddy! Don’t want to? Then what is the point of your life?

Does This Place Have Any Good Brews?

The Lord has risen and what better way to celebrate than washing down the sacrament with a nice drop of Peterborough beer? You’re in luck because, as always, Cans & Megabus has your back and we bestow our coveted seal of approval upon Hopshackle Brewery.

Straight from their brewery in the hilariously named Market Deeping to your gullet, these sud slingers have everything you ale freaks desire. Slurp down one of their classic 4.3% Shacklers Best, or perhaps a nice, light 5.2% Sumo or just get utterly and grotesquely fucked up on their 9.5% Restoration 2011.

They also do those “Pub in a Box” sets starting at £20 which, for up to eight bottles, snacks and a glass is actually pretty decent. Anyway, buy all their gear from the Hopshackle Brewery shop.

Did You Know?

There is a common misconception about the town of Peterborough. For centuries people have believed that its formation was due to a collection of men called Peter arrogantly deciding to name a settlement after themselves. It’s a myth not lost on the residents of Peterborough.

As anyone will tell you, the name ‘Peter’ is actually outlawed in the town due to further spreading of this vile falsehood. The decision to ban the name was made in 1845 after too many visitors kept asking “Oh Peter? Like after the name of the town?” to the ire of many resident Peters of Peterborough.

Tom Walsh